Clean and Clean

So much. So much. We went to to the Kripalu Yoga center for 4 days during Dick’s February break for an intensive workshop with Dr.s Deepak Chopra and David Simon. It was an immersion into Ayurvedic traditions and spirit talks about how to know the mind of God. We meditated twice a day, did yoga twice a day, ate well, and did some healing. I made some real emotional progress I didn’t even know I needed to make. I am learning to be gentle with this body. It has served me well and hard and it will regain its strength in time. The meditation practice we have kept since the workshop continues to nourish us both. Mostly, we are remembering to be lighthearted, which is a key principle in Ayurveda, for we are consciousness looking at itself, creating itself, and our souls know that what the ego needs isn’t what lasts into eternity. We came home feeling refreshed and recharged, but then I put my new expanded awareness to the test by making the first of my final two steps to getting free of Morphine. Step one was to cut my evening dose. It was hard. My body wanted. Meditation helped. One or two doses of anti-anxiety meds helped me to sleep through some of it. After 4 days I was through the worst of it, and drove myself to Boston for two days of scans and meeting with the docs.

Facing the tests is a paradox for me—there is security in knowing we are looking inside my body for signs of trouble, and there is anxiety in knowing we are looking inside my body for signs of trouble. I faced it. I meditated through my PET scan and MRI (a real test of my ability to disconnect in the noisy MRI). The next day I met with Dr. Buff and Dr. Joyce. All clean. Dr. Joyce says she is so pleased with how my treatment and recovery has gone. She is not worried about me. I left feeling energized and strong. I crashed a little when I got home, but finished the week (last week) with a great few days with the ever evolving Finn. there’s more →